Things that matter

I miss my blog. I miss writing for fun. I'm still "working to live," but sometimes, I admit, I get caught up in the excitement and passion of my career and find myself "living to work." No one does this to me. I do it to myself.

Well, it's not just work. It's also home. We recently undertook a major house remodel and addition. Things still haven't totally settled on that, so it feels like any spare time I find should be used to get things back in order. It can be challenging when I would just like to sit down with a good book, but I remember that there are still things to do to get the "new house" back in order.

So writing my blog has unfortunately taken a back seat to the rest of my life. But I do believe I'll get back to my writing. For now, though, I have the most important priorities straight.

I'm making the right decisions on things that matter. Even when I don't address all these equally, I always have a road map for what I want to work on and that's a good start in my book.

What matters to me right now?

Grandchildren. Three of them under two. They are just so sweet and will be young for only so long. Every chance I get I enjoy them. And I am happy for more time with them. It's true what is said. Being a grandparent is an awesome experience. Being their Grammy is very special to me. These kiddies matter.

Family. It's amazing to watch my children grow and become parents...to both babies and dogs. They have all grown to be such interesting adults, doing interesting things, making their own lovely homes with wonderful spouses, and living their lives. It's so rewarding to see them become who they were meant to be. They are all unique. They delight me and surprise me, and yet they are so familiar. We  have history. They are my children and they matter. It's still a miracle to me that they came from me and...

Hubby. We've been best friends forever. We've grown up together and co-created this wild and crazy life. It works for us. Sometimes we drive each other batty--especially when we had to live in very confined quarters all summer long during the remodel--but we are surviving this sweet adventure of life together. And that's what counts. One of my favorite things is to watch him care for and love our grandchildren. This reminds me what a good dad he was and is. Selfless and caring. He makes a great Pop Pop. And the kiddies love him. That matters to me.

Friends. We don't choose our families, but we do our friends. Friends we share our lives and families with and those memories bind our spirits. When we go way back, "Remember When" becomes one of the best party games I know. I love my friends and they mean the world to me. I hope we spend more and more time together. I look forward to growing old with them. Friends matter.

Book club. We're just starting this neighborhood club with a bunch of great women and I'm committed because it's something I've always wanted to do. Talking about good books with good people is a great way to spend time. Books offer a glimpse of experiences, points in time, and places we've never been. Books take us out of our comfort zone and make us think. Book club is where I want to be. I deserve to carve out this time for me to read and socialize. Reading and book club matter.

Food. Food is life. And I like good, real food. I'm so interested in the world's food system, how we digressed from eating whole foods, and what we can do to get back to our healthier roots. I'm a proponent of sustainable agriculture. I vote with my dollars for a better world and purchase organic foods to show that I don't believe it's acceptable to spray our crops, farmland, and those who grow food for us with poisons. We are what we eat. Healthy food matters.

Lake through the trees from the trail

Nature. I love a good walk in the woods. Even in the rain. There's something about the outdoors that sustains and energizes me. Even though it can at times be tiring or quite a challenge, I love to get out there every chance I can. I'm always thinking about the next opportunity. Until then, I look up at the sky and clouds frequently. I notice trees and how they adapt and bend to find the light. I breathe fresh air as I walk to my next meeting or appointment. And I take long moments here and there to look at flowers and animals in my path, stand quietly by water to reflect on what's important, and snap a picture that can help me remember later when I'm inside how much I love this beautiful Earth and how lucky I am to live here. I truly believe nature heals. It matters.

Walking. When I'm not on the trail, I'm jonesing for a walk in the neighborhood. Any chance I can get out, I'm there. I love a good walk when I'm all by myself and I can look up to the blues of the sky and hear the birds and crickets chirp, the wind whistling through the trees, and my inner voice talking to help me work through my thoughts and feelings. I enjoy a walk when all the neighbors come out of their homes one by one to enjoy a beautiful day and we exchange greetings. I love a nice walk with my hubby to share some time and chat about everything going on. I'll take a long walk in the rain, carrying my full backpack, thinking about my goals and training for my next adventure with my tried-and-true hiking pal. Hiking and walking sustain me. They matter.

Mindfulness. Now more than ever I aspire to a mindful life. I'm not that good at this yet, but that's why it's called a practice. I still many times let myself get in my own way. My mind is willing and thinking good thoughts, but I am human and still learning. Since I won't be done until I am done, mindfulness is something to work on every day. Meditation is one practice that centers me. Sitting still for twenty minutes sometimes is harder than it could seem. Again, I need to practice, since it's time well spent. Meditation settles my spirit. It helps me find who I am and contributes to who I want to be. Yoga is another practice that makes me feel happy, calm, strong, and nimble--all good things. I don't practice as much as I'd like, so I want to work on this because it matters.

Last, but not least,

Spiritual health. There's so much to learn and so many connections to make in this universe. I want to absorb like a sponge through my own personal journey. I appreciate the company of simpatico souls and pondering how we are all unique, yet in so many ways the same. I want to consider all that was, is, or can be, weaving my thoughts and beliefs together like a tapestry, but never finishing, so I can continue to explore all possible designs. I didn't know this as well before--when I didn't  know--but I am spiritual. Learning from and observing all our world's spiritual leaders matters to me. No one of us is any more important than the other, but when I keep my eyes and ears open, I am excited to learn from those who are clearly enlightened. They pave the way with their words of simple loving-kindness. They make me want to work really hard to be the best I can be. I am very aware and comfortable that my spiritual journey matters to me.

So, yes, I didn't know I had a list of ten things that matter to me right now until I sat down to write a bit. I always have lots to work on, to attend to these things that matter to me. I am more comfortable in my skin now than I ever have been and I believe that wisdom comes with age, when we just don't care as much if someone thinks we're different or strange. When I struggle, I look inside and think about what I know to be true to get myself back on the path I want to be.

I know I'll get there. Because these things matter.

What matters to you? I'd love to hear.

Until next time, yours in minding what matters...Therese

Spirituality rocks

Earth's sky and clouds inspire me.

I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops. Spirituality rocks!

Always willing to share my love of food or my passion for all things natural, I'm also happy to publicly declare my position on spirituality.

Fully acknowledging my interest and my thirst to explore more on the topic makes me feel, shall I say, all warm and tingly... and spiritual.

What is "spiritual"?

1. Of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material.

2. Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul.

This is an exciting time for me.

Spirituality is a satisfying indulgence. Spirituality is uncertain, emotional, illogical, not rational. In so many ways, we are all called to, no, required to, be solid and practical every day. But I need more.
 
Exploring spirituality feeds my creative spirit and allows me to consider and engage in otherworldly potential.

I certainly wouldn't be considered shy in the social media landscape and I'm fairly certain I'm considered outgoing in social situations. But deep inside, I'm a very private person.

As many of you may also, I've got this whole inner dialogue going that I don't regulary share. But here and there I get really excited about the conversation with myself and I want to share it with others.

Concepts of spirituality intrigue me. Buying books on the topic, watching shows featuring spiritual leaders, researching on the web, formulating and refining my own ideas. This is all yet another adventurous phase in my life-long quest to learn.

This certainly isn't the first time I've explored the topic, though. I've touched on the theme of spirituality here before in this hodgepodge blog of mine.

It's always so interesting to observe the conversations and declarations on social networks.

Frequently there are posts and comments about organized religion from one end of the belief spectrum to the other.

I myself don't really comment on religion or politics in the social landscape. That's the more private side of me. I review what folks are thinking and feeling, though, and it prompts me in my own discovery and thought process.
 
I see the arguments from all perspectives. Everyone is so certain they are right. It's really interesting to watch.
 
Religion is man-made

Religion has been around a really long time. Some detractors argue that organized religion is a man-made invention to keep the masses in check.
 
Petronius Arbiter (c. 27 - 66 AD), a Roman courtier during the reign of Nero, wrote, "It is fear that brought gods into the world."

Edgar Allen Poe said what many think: "All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry."
 
Even if you agree with those statements, you have to admit it's pretty cool that these "man-made" religions popped up all over this good earth throughout time. 
 
Going back further than we can all imagine, human beings who didn't know of each other were all coming up with these "organized" ways to explain the essence of life and how they came to be. These world religions are all so different, yet all so similar.

I think Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) made a striking point when he said, "There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."

Martin Buber, an Austrian-born Israeli Jewish philosopher (1868 -1965) said, "God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him?"
 
It's a study unto itself to research the multitude of names for God that exist across world religions. Sufis poetically call out the 99 names for God or the most beautiful names of Allah. 

For still others, the word God doesn't resonate or hold any meaning. Some spiritual thinkers call what they feel to be good and true, the energy source of all that is, the origin of all love, "The Universal Light."

It seems more than a coincidence, though, that the theme of universal light and the concept of goodness are repeated over and over across many religious and spiritual expressions. Even science and evolutionism acknowlege principles of energy, dark, and light.

Not sure who to attribute this image to since I see it so many places on the Internet.

Yeah, so what if religion is man-made? What's wrong with respecting that some people like that structure and the opportunity to belong to a community of like-minded folks? That's what this country is built on.
 
Those who despise religion don't like what can be bad about it. There's always someone who gives something good a bad name. Good and bad reside in all people and institutions. We're all well aware of the bad when we see it. But are we always open enough to recognize the good? Or is it too easy to use the bad as an excuse to refute the good?

Over time, yes, religion has been the cause of violence, wars, discrimination, pain, and suffering. But so have other man-made institutions. It's not an exclusive club.
 
We all have a right to comment and share our beliefs. I'll be the first to humbly admit that I'm not qualified to judge others or make an absolute statement on who's right or wrong on the issue of religion. 

I'm grateful to live in a country that by law allows us to decide for ourselves. How we judge each other outside the law is another story.
 
All that said, the diametrically opposed opinions and arguments witnessed on social networks have actually ignited my own interest in spirituality and common elements across world religions.

Spirituality vs. Religion

As I explore my own spirituality, it's been interesting to note that a lot of spiritual leaders may belong to a certain religion that maybe they were born into, but they don't feel they have to be religious to be spiritual.

I've felt that way myself for a very long time. I was very involved teaching catechism while raising my own children since I felt it was beneficial to provide a great foundational start for young minds to think through their own beliefs as they grow and learn.

But through all my education in religioius-affiliated institutions and my own exploration and participation into adulthood, I more readily identify now as being spiritual than religious.  

My gut instincts (in no particular order)

Organized institutions of religion go wrong when they are more intent on proving there's one true religion, their own. That's a big turn off to many. That comes off as arrogant and elitist.

It's key to treat others the way you want to be treated. Whatever you believe, you can't go wrong if you follow this golden rule. No matter the outcome, you will feel better knowing you tried and did your best.

We, as humans, are amazing beings with so much potential. Every breath we take seems a miracle. Our bodies can do wonderful things. Our minds intrigue. Our souls inspire. We are like animals, we are like machines. We are amazing. We should never forget to acknowledge that in each other. 

We can choose good or evil. Most choose good, but that doesn't get as much press. A focus on evil only makes us sad, depressed, and bitter, which maybe is one goal of the evil-doer. Seeking what's right and true and spreading the word help us triumph over evil.

Living on this good earth is a gift. It's marvelous every day that we wake up again in this wondrous universe. The air, the trees, the sky, the clouds, the dirt. We are lucky to be here.

Whatever we believe, we can't go wrong if we practice together kindness, compassion, caring, tolerance, service, and community. Less time struggling and pointing out our differences could mean more time working next to each other on these admirable qualities. 

Great minds 

As part of my ongoing quest to learn, I like to research quotes of those whose impact has been positive, who've left a lasting mark in this world. 

I'm so drawn to the abounding wisdom of the Dalai Lama. He says, "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." 

Again, Dalai Lama says, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

British satirist Jonathan Miller once remarked, "In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners."  Interesting perspective. 

Thomas Jefferson said, "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."  Yeah, Tom, you tell us. It's all about freedom of choice, folks. Do good, no harm. Let it be.

One of the greatest minds ever, Albert Einstein said, "My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance - but for us, not for God."   

Albert Einstein also said, "True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness." In my search for commentary on religion and spirituality, I'm amazed by how much Einstein commented on the topics. 

Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Jesus of Nazareth said "Love your enemies!" He also said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The intention with both statements is, I think, even when they are different from you. That would rock if we could do that. These are important lessons that our world still struggles to learn.

Swami Brahmananda sums up the crux of the matter for me when he said, "There is no true religion or spirituality without kindness and love."

I agree. Those who spout goodness or holiness and then do things that aren't kind or loving give all that's good a bad name.
 
I don't know all the answers, for sure, and I don't feel I need to. I'll say it again that I'm here on this good earth to learn and I don't want to stop until I'm done.

Paint your masterpiece
as you see fit.
Make it your own.

Religion can be paint-by-number for some and that's okay. This can be a good thing. I loved and am proud of all the paint-by-number paintings I've done in my time.

Practicing spirituality, though, for me is now a blank canvas that I'm free to paint what I'd like outside the lines using whatever colors I want. I'm heartily taking this art class and diving right in to learn everything I can. 

I want to absorb from all the world masters today and before me, pursuing the opportunity to create my own spiritual masterpiece.

It's your choice: spirituality, religion or none of the above. To each his or her own. For me, it's all good where there's good.

Until next time, yours in creative spirituality...Therese

P.S. A friend's Facebook status on his religious views still tickles my funny bone:

At the end of the day, I'm glad to live in a country where we all have the right to practice or not practice as we'd like, to believe or not believe what we want, and to choose or not choose as we will. Thank you, founding fathers. For me, spirituality rocks, and so do you.

We'll square away next time

I just went to the dentist. Regular checkup. All's good. No fear of the dentist, but, let's face it, all these routine checkups─dental, gyno, eye exams, mammos, and skin checks─are all better when they're over with. But I accept what we have to do to tick those off our list and move on to stuff that's more fun.

What makes the semiannual dental checkup bearable is that I know I'll be in the area to visit a "not so local for me" farmers market. We're still seeing a dentist we started with many years ago when we lived in the city. One of my favorite reasons to be in that area periodically is to visit the market for the guacamole at the Mexican cuisine stand. The rich green stuff is made just the way I like─not mashed too smooth, with big chunks of avocado peeking out, and not too much spice to hide the buttery goodness.

So before I line up at the counter for my guac purchase, I always first take a quick spin through the market to check out the stalls and see what looks good that day. I spied the bakery shelves filled with big homemade cookies. On top of the counter there were also bags of cookies, a mix of oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, double chocolate chip, and sugar, all lined up with a sign marking them as "day old, $4 a bag."

Hmm, I thought...these look tasty. I'd eat day-old, heck, week-old, homemade cookies at home, so these can only be good. Knowing hubby would also love a bag, I pulled out the charge card to pay. All I had carried into the market was my phone and my card, so I didn't have to lug my briefcase bag around the market. The girl behind the counter stopped short and and asked if I had cash since they don't take credit for purchases under $10.

Unfortunately, I knew I had no cash with me. I never really carry much since it's so easy to pay by card and settle at the end of each month. And I get cash-back rewards to boot.

I handed back the bag of cookies and said I was sorry to not have cash. Before I knew what was happening, the owner of the stall stepped in and quickly said, "No worry. Take the cookies. We'll square away next time you're in."

Square away next time? Are you sure? I was dumbfounded. And I knew it showed. Was she saying to take the cookies now with no payment? Does she realize I won't be back for maybe six months until my next dental checkup? How could she stay in business if she said that to everyone and they didn't come back?

Well, her generous and trusting spirit is something I admire. Good karma is coming her way, for sure.  I knew I wouldn't forget to square away with her next time I was in. I could never forget. Such a little thing in the scheme of life, but it was a memorable moment, something you don't see frequently.

Hubby and I discussed the experience soon after I left the market. He loved the story and the fact that I was bringing cookies home. But even before his first nibble, he was quick to remind me he's going to the dentist next week and offered to stop in the market to "square us away". I'm sure he'll buy some more cookies while he's there. Karma.

This momentary encounter was a nice reminder to me that everything we do every day is a chance to square away─to tidy up, to organize, to finish with something─to be on good terms with our spiritual selves, a routine checkup on my list that I don't want to forget in the mix. Some introspection never hurts, I think, and for a nice finish, the cookies were good too.

Until next time, yours in fun and life...Therese

As the spirit moves me

A friend recently asked me whether I'm writing this blog on deadline or "as the spirit moves" me. I thought about that question and decided I like that turn of phrase I don't use too frequently. Always a geeky learner, I checked officially and the humorous idiom means to do something "only when you want to do it." So I thought some more about whether there was any grain of truth there for me, and since I wish I was writing all the time, that phrase isn't quite on the mark. But I did realize there's truth in a spirit or energy that moves me when I do. It's certainly something fun and enjoyable to do and the more opportunity I make for it, the better for my spirit.

So it all got me to thinking about spirit, something I don't readily share my feelings and views on. What is our spirit? Why do we do anything we do? Why do we think what we do? Why do I think something is fun that someone else would think was torturous? Well, it seems the simple answer is that we are all different, unique individuals. Sometimes it seems true that we all have a doppelgänger, some double out there who looks or acts like us. But it can't really be true. We are each too complex to be easily repeated.

I've had family, friends, and strangers tell me over the years that I look just like Princess Grace, Cybill Shepherd, Elisabeth Shue, and Kathleen Turner. How could I look like all of those very different individuals? I'd be happy to look like anyone of them, but it's just not possible because I'm me. It can be nice to hear something like that, but I've mostly chalked it up to just coming from the hair salon where they made me look better than I know how to. Or I questioned whether I was just another nondescript blonde if others could see a resemblance between me and all these very different people. But I've concluded that people like to make a connection to something they know and recognize to make sense out of all the uniqueness that surrounds us.

But is my outer shell who I am? No. Outer appearance and any superficial beauty are transient for us all. It's our inner spirit that remains. Yes, hopefully it grows, but it's always still us on the inside. As we age, we look in the mirror and see the outer changes, but how many of us feel the same on the inside? I know I do. Some may not see past our outer shell, but our inner spirit is there and waiting to be acknowledged. I like to notice those older than me on the streets and imagine how young they feel on the inside. The potential to remain young through our spirit excites me.

Eleanor Roosevelt said "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art." That woman had a spirit I admire. And so does Maya Angelou, as do many others. Strong, wise women who think less of the outer shell, more about the inner spirit.

I want to feed and challenge my inner spirit, take charge as well as I can and move my spirit to grow, instead of it moving me. I want to recognize and appreciate who I feel like on the inside, the spirit of my younger self. And acknowledge that everyone must feel this way. Our spirit is our own unique, indelible memory of who we are.

Who am I? Who do I want to be? I think about the possibilities and the work I still need and want to do to challenge my inner spirit. Learning, loving, not rushing or complaining, enjoying all the good, correcting my course when there are missteps, being as kind to my inner spirit as I try to be to others.

What works for my spirit may not work for you. We are all different, for sure. We are complex entities...no two of us alike. We are human snowflakes. We have common interests and thoughts, but no two of us have all the same elements in play at the same time. And how we all fit together or not is a delicate balance we may or may not achieve at any one point.

And where has my spiritual self taken me? Our family, as many, grew up practicing the religion we were born into. And so I made the choice to continue that tradition with my family. I had no reason to abandon the tenets of goodness I learned. And I always appreciated the healthy benefits of belonging to a community. I wanted to provide my children with that same sense of community: Our family unit belonged to a greater whole, our children belonged.

And one of the ways I chose to stay active in our community was to teach in our church's catechism program. I taught fourth-grade religion for more than eleven years as my children moved through their own classes and sacraments. The curriculum I taught was morality: The Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule (Treat others the way you want to be treated), the Eight Beatitudes. All principles of goodness.

I was asked every year if I wanted to teach a different grade or if I was bored with teaching the same lessons every year. Absolutely not! I loved teaching those lessons of life representing themes we can find in the teachings of all the top religions of the world.

In those eleven plus years of teaching I noticed things that came up over and over. I loved my interaction with the kids and felt very fortunate to play a role in their lives, to help build their spirits, but I saw over and over good parents so busy they forgot to teach their children to say thank you or please. Hard-working parents with ethics and values inadvertently teaching their children to lie by punishing, hitting them or taking away a privilege, when children told the truth about a mistake they made.

Children also told me stories that signaled they craved rules when there were none. They weren't always sure their parents cared. I coached the kids to talk about how they felt when their parents weren't tired, angry or frustrated. I can never say for sure if I made a difference in the children's lives, but I do know they made a difference in mine. The reward was the boost to my spirit and resolve to teach and model every week over all those years.

And so, although I don't always agree with all the doctrine of the religion in which I was raised, I have never had any reason to leave it for the good and nourishment it could provide. I am capable of making decisions that work for me and accepting the karmic outcome of my choices, good and bad. Most importantly, I certainly will always agree with the most basic principles of the religion I was born into. And as I studied in college, I learned then that those basic tenets of goodness exist across all organized religions, so it opened my mind to a world beyond the simply innocent, yet limited basics of goodness that I learned in elementary and high school.

Jesus, Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa. All great leaders of good. Good is the common denominator in most religions. I choose to believe in Good. I don't know all the answers but I find comfort knowing with certainty that the creator of this good life is Good, no matter what name we call or form we see when we believe and follow.

I've also learned that to grow spiritually I don't need to be contained in a church, temple, or synagogue at any special time in the week. And yet I have utter respect for those who do want that since I believe that in work and life there is always more than one way to reach the same outcome. For me, I'm satisfied that my spiritual self is with me wherever I go. My spirit can be replenished with friends and family or alone, in my kitchen, in my yard, in an open field, on a mountaintop. Here or there, and everywhere, Therese I am (sheesh, I can be corny).

A friend's Facebook info declares something that makes me chuckle.

Religious views: I can't see any churches from my house.

Really love that. Me, I've never listed FB info on my religious views. Just never felt the need. It seemed so private. This very public post is a first for me. Haven't been hiding or denying. Just felt it was more important to live my religion than write it up for posterity. But now it's different. I'm somehow enjoying the philosophy and adventure of it all.

And I like that I have friends all along the religious spectrum: from confirmed detractors of organized religion to the apathetic and agnostics; then the holiday practitioners all the way to the very engaged faithful and unquestioning believers living their religion every moment of every day. It's all so interesting to watch the conversation. I may not always take part in the discussion, but I'm always observing, thinking, forming, and reshaping my own beliefs as I see fit for me.

Never really one to debate political or religious viewpoints, I certainly don't categorize myself as apathetic, though. To debate is to argue, to try to convince someone else you're right. I can participate if I have to and I understand it's an intellectual game of sorts, but, eh, it's just not my thing. I have so many things I want to do, so I choose not to use my free time for activities that don't totally excite and invigorate me.

But I notice that as a nation, we are more tolerant of diversity than we ever have been. Everywhere we look, from government to education to corporate America to the programs we watch on TV, we see evidence of concerted efforts to embrace differences in age, gender, language, culture, sexuality, abilities, and ethnicity, but we're still as a whole not so tolerant about differences in religion. Some with deep convictions in any direction may unknowingly make others uncomfortable, some who would never consider commenting so strongly in other areas of diversity.

I admire what the Dalai Lama said and I strive to follow his wisdom, declaring that my true religion is kindness. It is not my place in this life to deem that any one religion is right or wrong, but I do follow goodness and can't promote or stand by evil. My goal is to connect with my spirituality and the good I see in others.

My prayer is to feed my spirit, learn and live, respect and admire, observe and model for others. I am just a speck in the universe, but I can make a difference and grow my spirit, promoting healthy, inclusive communities that I'm happy to be involved in.

So I won't ever forsake my roots. There's just no need. I appreciate the spirituality of where I came from and I'm excited about the possibilities of where I'm going. I'm growing some kick-ass spirit here. How about you? Do you think about spirit?

Until next time, yours in life and spirit...Therese