Things that matter

I miss my blog. I miss writing for fun. I'm still "working to live," but sometimes, I admit, I get caught up in the excitement and passion of my career and find myself "living to work." No one does this to me. I do it to myself.

Well, it's not just work. It's also home. We recently undertook a major house remodel and addition. Things still haven't totally settled on that, so it feels like any spare time I find should be used to get things back in order. It can be challenging when I would just like to sit down with a good book, but I remember that there are still things to do to get the "new house" back in order.

So writing my blog has unfortunately taken a back seat to the rest of my life. But I do believe I'll get back to my writing. For now, though, I have the most important priorities straight.

I'm making the right decisions on things that matter. Even when I don't address all these equally, I always have a road map for what I want to work on and that's a good start in my book.

What matters to me right now?

Grandchildren. Three of them under two. They are just so sweet and will be young for only so long. Every chance I get I enjoy them. And I am happy for more time with them. It's true what is said. Being a grandparent is an awesome experience. Being their Grammy is very special to me. These kiddies matter.

Family. It's amazing to watch my children grow and become parents...to both babies and dogs. They have all grown to be such interesting adults, doing interesting things, making their own lovely homes with wonderful spouses, and living their lives. It's so rewarding to see them become who they were meant to be. They are all unique. They delight me and surprise me, and yet they are so familiar. We  have history. They are my children and they matter. It's still a miracle to me that they came from me and...

Hubby. We've been best friends forever. We've grown up together and co-created this wild and crazy life. It works for us. Sometimes we drive each other batty--especially when we had to live in very confined quarters all summer long during the remodel--but we are surviving this sweet adventure of life together. And that's what counts. One of my favorite things is to watch him care for and love our grandchildren. This reminds me what a good dad he was and is. Selfless and caring. He makes a great Pop Pop. And the kiddies love him. That matters to me.

Friends. We don't choose our families, but we do our friends. Friends we share our lives and families with and those memories bind our spirits. When we go way back, "Remember When" becomes one of the best party games I know. I love my friends and they mean the world to me. I hope we spend more and more time together. I look forward to growing old with them. Friends matter.

Book club. We're just starting this neighborhood club with a bunch of great women and I'm committed because it's something I've always wanted to do. Talking about good books with good people is a great way to spend time. Books offer a glimpse of experiences, points in time, and places we've never been. Books take us out of our comfort zone and make us think. Book club is where I want to be. I deserve to carve out this time for me to read and socialize. Reading and book club matter.

Food. Food is life. And I like good, real food. I'm so interested in the world's food system, how we digressed from eating whole foods, and what we can do to get back to our healthier roots. I'm a proponent of sustainable agriculture. I vote with my dollars for a better world and purchase organic foods to show that I don't believe it's acceptable to spray our crops, farmland, and those who grow food for us with poisons. We are what we eat. Healthy food matters.

Lake through the trees from the trail

Nature. I love a good walk in the woods. Even in the rain. There's something about the outdoors that sustains and energizes me. Even though it can at times be tiring or quite a challenge, I love to get out there every chance I can. I'm always thinking about the next opportunity. Until then, I look up at the sky and clouds frequently. I notice trees and how they adapt and bend to find the light. I breathe fresh air as I walk to my next meeting or appointment. And I take long moments here and there to look at flowers and animals in my path, stand quietly by water to reflect on what's important, and snap a picture that can help me remember later when I'm inside how much I love this beautiful Earth and how lucky I am to live here. I truly believe nature heals. It matters.

Walking. When I'm not on the trail, I'm jonesing for a walk in the neighborhood. Any chance I can get out, I'm there. I love a good walk when I'm all by myself and I can look up to the blues of the sky and hear the birds and crickets chirp, the wind whistling through the trees, and my inner voice talking to help me work through my thoughts and feelings. I enjoy a walk when all the neighbors come out of their homes one by one to enjoy a beautiful day and we exchange greetings. I love a nice walk with my hubby to share some time and chat about everything going on. I'll take a long walk in the rain, carrying my full backpack, thinking about my goals and training for my next adventure with my tried-and-true hiking pal. Hiking and walking sustain me. They matter.

Mindfulness. Now more than ever I aspire to a mindful life. I'm not that good at this yet, but that's why it's called a practice. I still many times let myself get in my own way. My mind is willing and thinking good thoughts, but I am human and still learning. Since I won't be done until I am done, mindfulness is something to work on every day. Meditation is one practice that centers me. Sitting still for twenty minutes sometimes is harder than it could seem. Again, I need to practice, since it's time well spent. Meditation settles my spirit. It helps me find who I am and contributes to who I want to be. Yoga is another practice that makes me feel happy, calm, strong, and nimble--all good things. I don't practice as much as I'd like, so I want to work on this because it matters.

Last, but not least,

Spiritual health. There's so much to learn and so many connections to make in this universe. I want to absorb like a sponge through my own personal journey. I appreciate the company of simpatico souls and pondering how we are all unique, yet in so many ways the same. I want to consider all that was, is, or can be, weaving my thoughts and beliefs together like a tapestry, but never finishing, so I can continue to explore all possible designs. I didn't know this as well before--when I didn't  know--but I am spiritual. Learning from and observing all our world's spiritual leaders matters to me. No one of us is any more important than the other, but when I keep my eyes and ears open, I am excited to learn from those who are clearly enlightened. They pave the way with their words of simple loving-kindness. They make me want to work really hard to be the best I can be. I am very aware and comfortable that my spiritual journey matters to me.

So, yes, I didn't know I had a list of ten things that matter to me right now until I sat down to write a bit. I always have lots to work on, to attend to these things that matter to me. I am more comfortable in my skin now than I ever have been and I believe that wisdom comes with age, when we just don't care as much if someone thinks we're different or strange. When I struggle, I look inside and think about what I know to be true to get myself back on the path I want to be.

I know I'll get there. Because these things matter.

What matters to you? I'd love to hear.

Until next time, yours in minding what matters...Therese

Washing away stress with shower therapy



A warm shower soothes the body and soul.

 I shower every day. Well, almost every day. In the winter, when my skin gets too dry, my doctor told me not to shower every day.

"Yuck," I said.

"Just wash the important parts," he responded.

Even yuckier. Yes, my doctor said that to me. Ha! And no, I didn't need him to tell me which are the important parts.

Well, he was right. Skipping a shower here and there was just what my dry skin needed.

Thank goodness, though, that I don't have to go without showering too frequently. Showering is good for me. And not just because when I shower I won't stink and people will like me better.

A good shower is great therapy.

How so? How did I arrive at this conclusion?

In early years of adulthood as a young mother, I thought showering was a time suck. I remember at one point even commenting how showering seemed such a waste of time. I wished for a better, quicker way to get and stay clean.

Every day, the same thing over and over. So routine, washing from top to bottom, head to toe. Necessary, but boring. I could be doing so many other more important things with that time.

No wonder I was bored with such a mundane task. Every other demand was so much more exciting for someone who wanted to move, move, move to get things done.

It truly was hard to multi-task in the shower. I was a resistant captive. All I could do then was wash quickly while worrying about what I could be doing instead of showering.

How could I relax in the shower when I had an impatient newborn waiting to breastfeed right outside the shower door in a rocking carry cradle? I stopped washing over and over to reach out to stick a pacifier in mouth and rock the cradle.

I had toddlers to tend to. I had laundry to do, meals to prepare.

Those days are long gone and shower time is no longer interrupted by wee little ones scurrying through my bathroom, asking me questions or wanting my attention.

No longer is a busy household waiting reluctantly for me to get out of the shower and make things happen for them.

All my children are adults now and one of them is even pregnant with our first grandbaby. I recently recounted for her some of the challenges showering when you have young children.

So she wouldn't think it was just her, I shared that every new mother should consider showering each day quite an accomplishment.

I can't remember for sure, though, when I made the switch in my thinking, but a shower for me is no longer a necessary evil, a waste of time. Now I view my shower more like a well-deserved luxury, something to anticipate and enjoy. 

Why the new outlook? With time, I've grown as a person and slowed down some with fewer expectations of all that I need to accomplish each day, so I don't think it's just that I have figured out how to multi-task in the shower.

Multi-task in the shower, you wonder? Yes, but it's not frantic overachieving. It's more like mindful meditation.

You've heard of the slow food movement? This is the "slow shower movement" that I engage in. Finally, I've coined a term! I googled to check...

My shower time is slow-moving brain time. Time to relax and and be with myself.

I get a lot done in the shower. What do I do there besides scrubbing and rinsing?

Scented natural soaps make me happy while I think in the shower.

As I soap up and let the water trickle over me,

I listen to my inner voice. I've written about my i.v. before.  A shower is a perfect quiet time to think about concepts I'm intrigued with: happiness, spirituality, positive thinking, being the best me I can be.

I can be tough on myself in the shower, and I don't mean that I'm roughing up my skin with the loofah. My inner voice pulls no punches and tells me like it is. And I listen because I know it's all good for me.

I think through issues and solve problems. How should I creatively handle this or that? What did I do right yesterday or today? What can I do better tomorrow?

Some of my most strategic and innovative ideas have come to me in the shower. It's amazing how some warm water and time alone can clear my head and foster productive thinking.

I rehearse dialogue. So now I've arrived at a solution, but it's all in my head. No solution is a good one if you can't effectively communicate. How will I handle an important conversation? What points should I make? Where will I stand strong and where am I willing to compromise?

My shower is a great place to strategically work it all out and practice diplomacy for effective win-win outcomes in all walks of my life.

I draft my to-do list. What do I need to accomplish today? What can I plan for tomorrow? What has to happen right now to keep our everyday life running as smoothly as possible? I can be practical.

But way more fun...

I write my blog. It's amazing how many ideas come to me under the shower head. I've written whole passages under water. Heck, I've written entire posts. Sometimes I'm so excited by a good idea that I ache to write it down. Sometimes I find the time to. Sometimes I don't.

I invent. Hey, there's an idea from within the shower walls! In my spare time, invent a shower widget for dictation and recording any great ideas I'm lucky enough to have. Now where's that spare time?

What else?

I daydream. In the shower, there's built-in time to imagine. Why does the red bird peck on my bathroom window every day, all day long? Does he see his reflection or want to come in? What should I make for a special dinner? Where should I hike this weekend? Where should I vacation next? What's my next adventure? What do I want to be when I grow up?

I accept what is and explore possibility. Reflecting in the shower lets me focus on the power of the present, define expectations I may have for myself, and plan for the future.

With no outside distractions, digging deep inside my soul, I can honestly assess my overall wellness, determine when I need to make a course correction to get myself back on a path, and figure out what I should do to manage any stress I may be experiencing.

I told you I get a lot done in the shower. I've learned to multi-task and use that time wisely, even if it's just to think about how damned good that warm water feels on my tired, achy body and soul.

I appreciate that I can shower every day. Not everyone is so fortunate and I know that.

I want to stay healthy for myself and those I love, so this reserved time has become for me a cathartic, restorative therapy of sorts, dedicated to slowing me down and enriching my day-to-day existence.

The cost is my time and maybe a higher water bill, but if it has saved me dollars in potential doctor bills or psychotherapy, then it's time and money well spent.

I take my time now. I relish the routine. Before I know it, I'm all clean. Inside and out.

The healing power of water renews not only my physical body, but also my spirit and soul, giving me energy in the morning to move on with my day, or in the evening, to settle a tired mind for a restful night's sleep.

Good shower therapy enables me to better use all the tools in my toolbox, helping me fret less and move past any worries to better live my life on this good earth.

I'm no mathematician, but here's a silly little formula for some good shower therapy:

Warm water/soap + time to think = clean (inside + out) = good mental health = < $$ (medical bills) =  life to the nth degree.

This math is working for me. How about you?

What's your shower deal? Time suck or time to renew? I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time, yours in showering our way to a better world...Therese