Respecting the crickets

Crickets.

Silence. All I could hear was the crickets. The silence was palpable. 

For those not familiar with the idiomatic expression "crickets," well, it means that what was said was a conversation-stopper. There was silence after something said and all that could be heard was the sound of crickets.

Another way we say this is: "After she said that, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop."

That's how it felt after my last blog entry on my interest in spirituality.

Hmm. How to take that, I thought. Don't think too much about it, I tell myself, yet I do. I can see on my blogger dashboard that people are clicking on the link. Different possibilities came to my mind:

People clicked but didn't read.
People read but didn't agree, like or care.
People agreed or were interested, but thought nothing more.
People just thought I was weird.

Yes, I am weird. Okay, I'm fine with that.

But mostly I imagined the silence was judgement. I felt vulnerable. I knew this was my own insecurity to deal with. I was not necessarily seeking approval, but it felt uncomfortable to potentially be misunderstood.

In my quest to write and share on this silly blog did I let go more of myself than I wanted to?

I sang to myself a play on one of my favorite R.E.M. songs.

"Oh no, I've shared too much, I haven't shared enough."

I could turn the whole thing off or face how I felt, grow some, and work through the self-acceptance challenge I presented myself with, since I was sure this was my own thing to deal with and no one else was probably even giving it the second thought that I was.

I chose to continue on through my feelings of vulnerability and grow.

This is why, I realized, I don't talk about religion or politics with others. There's a reason I'm private about these topics. I don't mind listening to others, but sharing on these topics is more difficult for me if it doesn't feel safe with an atmosphere open to differing opinions.

A social network probably wasn't the place to share, I thought. I have no issues discussing these topics with close family and friends. But hey, I'm looking to grow here and thought maybe there'd be some like-minded folks to converse with.

I read and re-read what I wrote. I didn't regret what I had written. I was being true to my own thoughts. Spirituality is not a curse word. It's a good thing, albeit, at times, misunderstood.

Would there have been responses if I made it clear that I am still Catholic, the religion I was born into? Would people have "liked" my post if it explicitly mentioned that, in addition to being spiritual, I believe in God?

I hope that's not the case since I'd like to think that those who know me care about me because I am a good person and not whether I hold the same beliefs as them or not.

The point of my post, though, wasn't about my own religious beliefs. It was to share how exciting it is for me to learn about other religions and observe the similarities in belief systems across the world.

I raised my children in the religion I was born into. I went to Catholic grade school, high school, and college. I taught CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) classes for more than eleven years through my church.

As many do, I provided a foundation as I saw fit for my own children. I never told any of them that I expected them to be married in our faith or in the Catholic church, yet they all chose to be married in the church. I know they knew I would love them all the same no matter.

I like belonging somewhere. I think we all do. Everyone finds places to belong that make them feel right in the world. It's different for us all. I don't believe it's my place to judge what's right or wrong for others.

I told you before I think a lot. Probably more than for my own good, as you can guess from my posts. It's what I like to do, though. So I continued to analyze the situation.

I also considered that my statement that I identify more as spiritual than religious was misunderstood or possibly surprised some. I contemplated that I didn't do a good job explaining what that meant for me.

Being "religious" can mean "a faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity." With that as the definition, then I am religious. I choose to pray to God, in the religion I was born into.

But I'm so fine with someone else who is devoted to Buddha, Allah, or a Universal Light that created All That Is Good. Hmm, I understand that others may not feel comfortable with that idea, but that's okay. They don't have to. It's my belief.

"Religious" can also mean "devoted to religious beliefs or observances." Here's where I've developed my own thoughts about some man-made religious rules.

Although I enjoy the spirit of community and belonging, I no longer thankfully worry as I did as a child that I will be damned to hell for eternity if I do not follow the religious guideline and I miss Sunday mass. It's my spiritual belief that I can be in communion 24/7 with the God I pray to, and I prefer that over just reserving one hour on Sunday.

Another point I made is that I don't agree there is one true religion. This belief goes back to my days at La Salle University. It was a wondrous awakening through required religion courses I took when I learned about world religions.

I remember going home each night to share with my parents at the dinner table what I was learning about other religions and the commonalities I could see across them all. I could see then we were all so different, yet so much the same.

My parents were also amazed to hear what I was learning. Before that opportunity for me to be the first in our family to receive a higher education, we all had only been exposed to what we knew and heard about our own religion. La Salle University gave me that perspective that I would not have easily had access to otherwise.

Many years ago, one Sunday, a parish priest at the time gave a homily that left much in my mind to be desired. Without going into unnecessary detail of the many awful examples he made, the priest went on and on with much obvious disdain for others, that Catholicism was the one true religion, and that anyone who thought anything different was "pathetic." His harsh, unforgiving word.

At the end of the homily he had to read weekly announcements, which for that day happened to be an invitation to join an upcoming interdenominational ecumenical service, a gathering across churches and religions to promote unity. How hypocritical he sounded!

Crickets in the church. We could have definitely heard a pin drop. I'd surmise that no one thought the lecture was appropriate. Everyone left mass that day in silence, which says a lot considering the number in attendance.

After the mass, my husband and I were obviously indignant. How could this priest say these things to us? How dare he put down all those good people who follow other religions, including Judaism?

Jesus was a Jew! We ourselves have friends from across so many religions! How could he say those things in the name of goodness and God? My parents who had been at mass with us seemed dazed and confused.

When hubby and I explained what bothered us about the unnecessary and lengthy criticism of other religions in this priest's homily, my parents who grew up "old school" acknowledged that the talk didn't seem right and they felt uncomfortable, but they weren't sure what to think.

They admitted they were accustomed to just following along with whatever the Church and higher authorities taught them to believe, but what he said didn't seem right. No, it wasn't.

I am not telling you this story as an argument to go against my own religion. I can imagine a similar proclamation like this being made by any small-minded person in any religion or non-religion, in any city, in any country. This specific commentary is attributed to one particular person, not an organized religion as a whole.

I choose not to "throw out the baby with the bath water," another idiomatic expression used to suggest an avoidable error in which something good is eliminated when trying to get rid of something bad, or in other words, rejecting the essential along with the inessential.

I don't throw out my religion because one person said something I don't like or there's a rule that I'm not exactly in agreement with. I have been educated to make my own decisions.

I do not feel a need to leave my religion because of one person's prejudice and bigotry or even the inappropriate actions of a larger group within the organization.

I am free to make my own decision about what I believe and don't believe. I choose not to believe what this one person shared about other religions.

Catholic Charities is a worldwide network of charities whose aim is to "reduce poverty, support families, and empower communities."

The mission of Catholic Charities agencies is to provide service to people in need, to advocate for justice in social structures, and to call the entire church and other people of good will to do the same.

This is the catholic, universal church I am proud to belong to.

My Lasallian education has provided me with the tools to make good and thoughtful decisions about what is right and wrong for me. In the tradition of the Christian Brothers, based on the teachings of innovative educator John Baptiste de La Salle, La Salle University offers quality education founded on the idea that one's intellectual and spiritual development go hand in hand.

"The University strives to foster an environment of faith which produces a reciprocal respect among all persons in the community and to establish an atmosphere in which community members may openly bear witness to their convictions on world peace and social justice."

Lasallian schools welcome students of all faiths, believers and nonbelievers alike. The Lasallian approach to teaching and learning is based on the idea that education is how we give back to others─
that we can only truly understand ourselves in relation to the world and the people that surround us.

At the end of the day, it's my personal hope and prayer that we treat each other the way we want to be treated and can respect all good, even when it's different from our own homegrown definition. We can agree to disagree and still respect what we don't understand or agree with, without changing our own belief system.

I didn't write all this and touch on the topic of religion again to change anyone else's beliefs. Rather, my goal is to expand that this is my journey, my quest to share my own resolution to understand other perspectives and look at the good in someone before I inappropriately reserve a judgement about their beliefs or non-beliefs.

In my previous post I didn't explicitly share my religious beliefs to make the point about my own interest in spirituality and world religions.

Although my religious beliefs shouldn't matter to anyone but me, the silence, which may have meant nothing, compelled me to close a circle I started to draw.

I respect that not everyone is interested in the topics I am, but I do hope always that the people of this world can respect differences in each other.

At the end of the day, I'm thankful for this exercise I put myself through. I can only resolve to work on myself, try not to take things personally, and respect the crickets.

Until next time, respectfully yours...Therese

Spirituality rocks

Earth's sky and clouds inspire me.

I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops. Spirituality rocks!

Always willing to share my love of food or my passion for all things natural, I'm also happy to publicly declare my position on spirituality.

Fully acknowledging my interest and my thirst to explore more on the topic makes me feel, shall I say, all warm and tingly... and spiritual.

What is "spiritual"?

1. Of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material.

2. Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul.

This is an exciting time for me.

Spirituality is a satisfying indulgence. Spirituality is uncertain, emotional, illogical, not rational. In so many ways, we are all called to, no, required to, be solid and practical every day. But I need more.
 
Exploring spirituality feeds my creative spirit and allows me to consider and engage in otherworldly potential.

I certainly wouldn't be considered shy in the social media landscape and I'm fairly certain I'm considered outgoing in social situations. But deep inside, I'm a very private person.

As many of you may also, I've got this whole inner dialogue going that I don't regulary share. But here and there I get really excited about the conversation with myself and I want to share it with others.

Concepts of spirituality intrigue me. Buying books on the topic, watching shows featuring spiritual leaders, researching on the web, formulating and refining my own ideas. This is all yet another adventurous phase in my life-long quest to learn.

This certainly isn't the first time I've explored the topic, though. I've touched on the theme of spirituality here before in this hodgepodge blog of mine.

It's always so interesting to observe the conversations and declarations on social networks.

Frequently there are posts and comments about organized religion from one end of the belief spectrum to the other.

I myself don't really comment on religion or politics in the social landscape. That's the more private side of me. I review what folks are thinking and feeling, though, and it prompts me in my own discovery and thought process.
 
I see the arguments from all perspectives. Everyone is so certain they are right. It's really interesting to watch.
 
Religion is man-made

Religion has been around a really long time. Some detractors argue that organized religion is a man-made invention to keep the masses in check.
 
Petronius Arbiter (c. 27 - 66 AD), a Roman courtier during the reign of Nero, wrote, "It is fear that brought gods into the world."

Edgar Allen Poe said what many think: "All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry."
 
Even if you agree with those statements, you have to admit it's pretty cool that these "man-made" religions popped up all over this good earth throughout time. 
 
Going back further than we can all imagine, human beings who didn't know of each other were all coming up with these "organized" ways to explain the essence of life and how they came to be. These world religions are all so different, yet all so similar.

I think Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) made a striking point when he said, "There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."

Martin Buber, an Austrian-born Israeli Jewish philosopher (1868 -1965) said, "God made so many different kinds of people. Why would he allow only one way to serve him?"
 
It's a study unto itself to research the multitude of names for God that exist across world religions. Sufis poetically call out the 99 names for God or the most beautiful names of Allah. 

For still others, the word God doesn't resonate or hold any meaning. Some spiritual thinkers call what they feel to be good and true, the energy source of all that is, the origin of all love, "The Universal Light."

It seems more than a coincidence, though, that the theme of universal light and the concept of goodness are repeated over and over across many religious and spiritual expressions. Even science and evolutionism acknowlege principles of energy, dark, and light.

Not sure who to attribute this image to since I see it so many places on the Internet.

Yeah, so what if religion is man-made? What's wrong with respecting that some people like that structure and the opportunity to belong to a community of like-minded folks? That's what this country is built on.
 
Those who despise religion don't like what can be bad about it. There's always someone who gives something good a bad name. Good and bad reside in all people and institutions. We're all well aware of the bad when we see it. But are we always open enough to recognize the good? Or is it too easy to use the bad as an excuse to refute the good?

Over time, yes, religion has been the cause of violence, wars, discrimination, pain, and suffering. But so have other man-made institutions. It's not an exclusive club.
 
We all have a right to comment and share our beliefs. I'll be the first to humbly admit that I'm not qualified to judge others or make an absolute statement on who's right or wrong on the issue of religion. 

I'm grateful to live in a country that by law allows us to decide for ourselves. How we judge each other outside the law is another story.
 
All that said, the diametrically opposed opinions and arguments witnessed on social networks have actually ignited my own interest in spirituality and common elements across world religions.

Spirituality vs. Religion

As I explore my own spirituality, it's been interesting to note that a lot of spiritual leaders may belong to a certain religion that maybe they were born into, but they don't feel they have to be religious to be spiritual.

I've felt that way myself for a very long time. I was very involved teaching catechism while raising my own children since I felt it was beneficial to provide a great foundational start for young minds to think through their own beliefs as they grow and learn.

But through all my education in religioius-affiliated institutions and my own exploration and participation into adulthood, I more readily identify now as being spiritual than religious.  

My gut instincts (in no particular order)

Organized institutions of religion go wrong when they are more intent on proving there's one true religion, their own. That's a big turn off to many. That comes off as arrogant and elitist.

It's key to treat others the way you want to be treated. Whatever you believe, you can't go wrong if you follow this golden rule. No matter the outcome, you will feel better knowing you tried and did your best.

We, as humans, are amazing beings with so much potential. Every breath we take seems a miracle. Our bodies can do wonderful things. Our minds intrigue. Our souls inspire. We are like animals, we are like machines. We are amazing. We should never forget to acknowledge that in each other. 

We can choose good or evil. Most choose good, but that doesn't get as much press. A focus on evil only makes us sad, depressed, and bitter, which maybe is one goal of the evil-doer. Seeking what's right and true and spreading the word help us triumph over evil.

Living on this good earth is a gift. It's marvelous every day that we wake up again in this wondrous universe. The air, the trees, the sky, the clouds, the dirt. We are lucky to be here.

Whatever we believe, we can't go wrong if we practice together kindness, compassion, caring, tolerance, service, and community. Less time struggling and pointing out our differences could mean more time working next to each other on these admirable qualities. 

Great minds 

As part of my ongoing quest to learn, I like to research quotes of those whose impact has been positive, who've left a lasting mark in this world. 

I'm so drawn to the abounding wisdom of the Dalai Lama. He says, "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." 

Again, Dalai Lama says, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

British satirist Jonathan Miller once remarked, "In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners."  Interesting perspective. 

Thomas Jefferson said, "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."  Yeah, Tom, you tell us. It's all about freedom of choice, folks. Do good, no harm. Let it be.

One of the greatest minds ever, Albert Einstein said, "My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance - but for us, not for God."   

Albert Einstein also said, "True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness." In my search for commentary on religion and spirituality, I'm amazed by how much Einstein commented on the topics. 

Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Jesus of Nazareth said "Love your enemies!" He also said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The intention with both statements is, I think, even when they are different from you. That would rock if we could do that. These are important lessons that our world still struggles to learn.

Swami Brahmananda sums up the crux of the matter for me when he said, "There is no true religion or spirituality without kindness and love."

I agree. Those who spout goodness or holiness and then do things that aren't kind or loving give all that's good a bad name.
 
I don't know all the answers, for sure, and I don't feel I need to. I'll say it again that I'm here on this good earth to learn and I don't want to stop until I'm done.

Paint your masterpiece
as you see fit.
Make it your own.

Religion can be paint-by-number for some and that's okay. This can be a good thing. I loved and am proud of all the paint-by-number paintings I've done in my time.

Practicing spirituality, though, for me is now a blank canvas that I'm free to paint what I'd like outside the lines using whatever colors I want. I'm heartily taking this art class and diving right in to learn everything I can. 

I want to absorb from all the world masters today and before me, pursuing the opportunity to create my own spiritual masterpiece.

It's your choice: spirituality, religion or none of the above. To each his or her own. For me, it's all good where there's good.

Until next time, yours in creative spirituality...Therese

P.S. A friend's Facebook status on his religious views still tickles my funny bone:

At the end of the day, I'm glad to live in a country where we all have the right to practice or not practice as we'd like, to believe or not believe what we want, and to choose or not choose as we will. Thank you, founding fathers. For me, spirituality rocks, and so do you.

I enjoy you

Really. I do. I like you.

You interest me. You fascinate me.

We are the same. We are different. I see some of myself in each of you. Maybe that's why we've connected at some point in our lives, then or now. And today we've reconnected somewhere, maybe even in the social media landscape. I connect with you in my everyday life, on Facebook, Twitter, and even here through my blog.

Whether you actively participate in the conversation or you're okay to just read and observe, we share some interests. But yet we are diverse. And that is good with us both. You don't judge. I like that about you.

You've made my good life richer. You've added another dimension to my very busy, but normal, existence. There's a great chance we don't regularly see each other, if ever, but it's nice to know you're there. I enjoy you.

Yes, I do enjoy you. You are passionate. Your passion can be inspiring and infectious. And you are not like the rest. You are each your own unique combination across quite a spectrum of interests.

You care about:

Politics.
TV. Film. Books. Music. Pop culture.
History.
Religion. Your beliefs. Your faith or lack thereof.
Life-long learning.
The meaning of life.
Causes that are important to you.
Communities you belong to.
Animals. Those you own. Others you also love or long for.
Gardening. Herbs.
Sports. Those you watch. Those you participate in.
Vacations. Your favorite go-to place. Your paradise.
Hiking. Adventures. Travel.
Taking time to do the things you enjoy most.
Food. Wine. Beer. Bacon.
Cooking. Great restaurants. The ultimate meal.
Healthy living. All things natural.
Children. Grandchildren. Family. Friends.
Special occasions you're planning.
Your dreams and hopes.
Who and what you want to be.
Your bucket list.
Connecting with others and everyday life.

You care about all of this and so much more.

If you don't see yourself here in this limited list, know that I really do enjoy you and all your diverse passions. You are just so damn interesting, it's hard not to.

You are colorful.

And you share without hesitation. You are colorful. You are funny, snarky, and irreverent. You are bold. You are nostalgic. You have an opinion and you're not afraid to share it.

Yet you don't judge. You let others be. Always a sign of confidence and strength. You are comfortable in your own skin. I admire and enjoy that about you.

You share both happiness and disappointments, births and deaths. You make me smile. Sometimes you make me cry as my heart aches for any pain you're experiencing. But then you make me chuckle.

And I like it when you make me laugh out loud. My loved ones within earshot will ask me to recount your news and your clever anecdotes. You amuse them also. Why wouldn't you? You are awesome.

So it's no wonder this has been a good experience connecting with you. I enjoy you.

Recently I saw a friend of friends from many years in the past. She casually exchanged news from Facebook with another friend. After we chatted awhile ourselves, I mentioned that I'd look her up on Facebook, thinking it might be fun to get to know her again.

She said sure, but then followed with, "You're not one of those people who posts pictures of their food, are you?"

"Yes, I am. We shouldn't be friends on Facebook then."

Maybe she was shocked at my quick and very blunt response, but if she had no problem sharing her opinion and pre-judging those who share any particular interest, then I had no problem responding as such without hesitation or qualm.

Although I know that I am so much more than any one interest I may have, it was obvious to me that this person would be annoyed and not appreciate seeing me in her news feed when I share with the foodie subculture I love being a part of my passion for food, cooking, and all things Trader Joe's.

I get it if it's not her interest, so I don't want to subject her to that.

At this point in my life, though, I'm also more comfortable looking out for my own interests, so I'm not okay with being judged, allowing myself to feel inadequate, or feeling the need to defend who I am or what I believe in. 

So at the end of the night, we hugged and said our goodbyes, commenting that it was nice to see each other again. All was good with how we left things.

Of course, this interaction made me think about who we each connect with and why. Do we necessarily need to share the same interests to get along, to live in so-called peace and harmony?

No, I don't think so. It seems to me that the heart of any connection and harmony is tolerance.

Tolerance. The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.

Do I agree with everyone I come in contact with? With everyone and everything said on Twitter or in my Facebook newsfeed?

Heck, no.

Do I respect their opinions, passions, and interests, even when they conflict at times with my own?

Hell, yes.

Just having celebrated July 4th in the United States of America, don't we all have an obligation to uphold the dreams and pursuits of our forefathers? Wasn't tolerance of each individual's beliefs and the freedom to practice said beliefs the ideal they were willing to fight for in the American Revolutionary War?

If today we can't tolerate diversity in thought and practice, if we don't want to be exposed to something that is different from the way we think, then we can choose to turn away, to not participate.

On social networking sites, if we don't want to see someone's pictures from a vacation or a good meal, or read someone's passionate post about politics, religion, what they did today, or even their hobby that we're really not interested in, then we shouldn't look. Or maybe we shouldn't be "friends," if we have no mutual interests or, at least, a mutual respect.

If we turn away from those who are different from us too frequently, though, it may be that we're stunting an opportunity for introspection and self-growth. It seems there's no good reason to let someone else's opinions threaten who we are and what we believe in. Who knows? We may be surprised to find some common ground. If not, we can always agree to disagree.

At the end of the day, I am grateful to be free to enjoy you and all your diverse beliefs (thank you, founding fathers!). I appreciate what we share in common and am quite content to tolerate what I may not always agree with or understand. It seems we can't go wrong when we treat each other the way we want to be treated. With respect and tolerance.

Martin Scorsese is quoted as having said, "As I've gotten older, I've had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things."

With maturity, this approach is working for me.

Less judgement. More tolerance.

One year ago this past July 4th I started out on this blogging adventure, not totally sure where it would take me. I still don't have all the answers, but I do know that I wish I had more time to write.

This experience has been so much more than I had ever imagined. I'm happy to share here with you and I hope you enjoy that I do.

Thanks for reading! Although it's nice to know you're there, I'm always interested to hear your point of view and turn this into more of a conversation.

I enjoy you. Really, I do.

Until next time, yours in growth and tolerance...Therese