I get by with a little help from my friends

People are nice. It’s really heartwarming when you stop to think about all the wonderful people on this good earth. Yes, there are the sad ones who hurt others and get featured on the evening news. Someone may not have treated them so well and they make the poor choice to continue the cycle. Evil is hard to understand and it can be depressing, but if we let them bring us down, they’ve gotten the best of us…and that’s what they want.

Yes, sometimes it’s hard, but for my own sanity I choose to dwell on the good people. It’s healthy to stop and take notice of all the good around us, especially when it’s so easy to see the negative. We all have our go-to people, family and friends, the ones who comfort us when we need a hug, some reassurance or a few kind words. And it’s important to be there for others when they need us. All in all, it’s more gratifying when it’s a give-and-take situation. But for me, the best is always when you least expect it.

This happened for me last week. I was at work when my personal phone rang in a meeting and I saw a close friend was calling. She never calls during the work day…we have our reserved times to chat. My gut instinct was that it was an important call. I knew that I should wait to listen to the message and call her back. I had two more meetings to get through.

My instinct was spot on. After the meetings, I braced myself to listen to the voicemail. My friend’s voice was solemn and the brief message requested a call back. No chirpy update. I just knew. I called her back and heard that our dear friend had lost her battle with cancer. Flooded with emotion, I ran into a work acquaintance in the hall that I had just met the week before. She could tell something was troubling me. We stopped and chatted. She listened and expressed her sympathy. And she shared that she had not too long ago lost her father. She shared how difficult it was and how she had cared for him. It was a warm conversation with someone I barely knew. We hugged at the end and I felt better for having talked with her. I had a few other interactions with co-workers before the end of the day. Everyone had kind words of comfort. I was glad to know all these people were there.

Next morning I arrived to start the new work day. And here’s what greeted me at my desk:

A mason jar filled with summer beauty, nestled in exquisite napkins in a hand-cut paper bag. Accompanying the flowers, a homemade card featuring a stunning photograph of more floral beauty, one of my own favorite things to snap.

“Memories, Laughter, and Love” on the front. And inside: “May they comfort you during this difficult time. Thinking of you.” Signed on the inside and back by the beautiful artist who created this warm and thoughtful gift to me.

Who was this from? Who took such time and care to comfort me? This was all from the person I had just met last week.

People are good. People are kind. That thoughtful gesture meant so much to me. All week, it touches my heart over and over.

And this is just one example of the kindness all around us that we are fortunate to witness every day. There are many special people who make differences in our lives, big and small.

As I’m sure you do, I cherish the different friends I have for different reasons. All it takes is one connection to create a friendship. We have our friends from our past and present, from all walks of life, from everywhere we’ve been. It’s exciting to never really know who we’ll be back in contact with and when. With social networking opportunities now in front of us, we can reconnect with those we’ve never forgotten, but life just happened and got in the way. Easier than ever, opportunity abounds to rekindle friendships and grow new relationships. A former casual acquaintance can now be someone you enjoy touching base with online on almost a daily basis. A friend or relative on the other side of the world is now just a few keystrokes away. Amazing technology enriches our lives.

And our everyday personal encounters, face-to-face interactions, are the capstone of our friendship spectrum. Nothing is better than knowing someone cares about you and will be there for you if you need them and they want you there for them, too. And it’s even nicer when it’s someone you least expected.

So you know what they say about paying it forward. This act of kindness I experienced last week is sticking with me for a reason. I’m meant to seek an opportunity to pay the kindness forward. Don’t know when or what that is yet, but what I know is true is that we all get by with a little help from our friends (thank you, Beatles). Looking forward to realizing what opportunity awaits me to make a small difference in someone’s life. As Martha says, it's a good thing. I only hope I can be as thoughtful.

Until next time, yours in fun and friendship…Therese

Live your life: Do one thing every day that makes you happy

We lost a dear friend today. Yes, life is good, but it’s also not fair at times. Whether we see parents losing children or children losing parents, it’s never easy. It’s never okay. But life can still be so enjoyable when we learn to face the challenges in front of us and accept that we have no guarantees on this good earth.

Fran, Therese, and Claudia

My friend Claudia was a smart, strong woman, sporty and athletic. She was a devoted wife to one of the most wonderful and positive husbands we know. She was a dedicated mother to two of the finest children parents could have. They are smart, athletic, and so much a result of a loving family environment. I always admired Claudia’s strength and loved her sense of humor, not to mention her warm, caring attitude. All our friends knew she truly cared about each one of us and our families. Our children grew up together and we shared everything from sporting events to special occasions. Even though we may not have seen each other every day as the kids got older, when we did all get together, it was like we never missed a beat. There was always love, fun, and laughter.



Jerry and Claudia, a beautiful couple. Role models for the rest.

Losing someone close reminds us all of the frailty of life. Death makes you realize that we shouldn’t take any day for granted. No sense putting off enjoying your life waiting for everything to be lined up and perfect. Life’s not perfect, so you’ll waste a lot of time waiting for that day to come. Losing another friend in our crowd makes me think some more about how I want to live my life. It’s all still a work in progress as it should be. When our work is done, our finite time in this life with those we know here is over.

Here are some thoughts that motivate me and things I strive for to live my life to the fullest:
• One of my favorites: Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.
• Be the best you can be. Don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes. (Note: I said “when,” not “if.” We are human.)
• Accept that you can only do your best. We only know what we know, but we can continue to learn and improve our attitude.
• Do what makes you happy. It’s a choice. We all have ups and downs, but search for a bright spot and make your own happiness. And if you don’t have the will to make a change or fix something, try not to complain so much. It's never attractive.
• Be patient with others. You don’t know what someone else is dealing with.
• Be tolerant of those with beliefs that don’t match your own. Open your eyes to how others may think. We are all products of our environments, but we have the power to be so much more if we are willing to work at who we want to be. You may be certain you’re on target about an idea, but yes, acknowledge that you can’t always be right. Although no one can take away your own perspective, leave room for growth. If you’re at an impasse with someone, agree to disagree then move on. It’s just not worth standing in the way of peace, yours or theirs.
• The golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. How could this not be obvious?
• Recognize ignorance, but don’t let it ruin your day. Don’t let small minds get the best of you and bring you down. Serve as an example to others. You may be the person to inspire and teach another.
• We can’t even control our own universe, so it won’t be helpful to try to control others. That’s always a lose-lose situation.
• Friends and family are always important. Make time for them in your life.
• Don’t rush life. As children, days seem to move slowly and we constantly remark that we can't wait for our birthday, summer, holidays, until we can make our own decisions and do what we want…. Life goes fast enough as we mature. Enjoy something you like each day and remember what Thomas Jefferson said, "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."

When the children were young, Claudia and I spent many days and nights together while they played. We talked about life, fun, and our families. Recently at the hospital, we talked just like we did over many years. Claudia was not a complainer in life or sickness. Always a positive force, Claudia didn’t waste time feeling sorry for herself. In the hospital, we caught up on the latest. We chatted about our families, what the kids were doing, and she asked about my daughter’s upcoming wedding plans.

Claudia happy to see our son.


At the end of the visit, Claudia said she was sorry she didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation because she’d been holed up in the hospital room so long, but she said it was so nice to hear what was going on with us and talk about “normal” things. What Claudia didn’t realize was that it was a normal conversation and she contributed so much, as she always had. This was normal for Claudia—loving, caring, and warm—making a difference in all the lives she touched. Thank you, dear friend. We love you always for your friendship and vibrant life. Knowing you made me happy. Thanks for modeling for us all how to live life to the fullest and be happy each day.

Until next time, yours in faith and friendship…Therese